Offsetting my "Ignorance Footprint"...

You must be the change you want to see in the world.” 

Mahatma Gandhi ...

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One of the main reasons that I want to go back to live in India is because of the guilt that I feel living in a first world country. I am not a saint, I have lived my life to excess at some points. I have been drunk far too many times, I have spent too much money on clothes, electronics, food and every other luxury that is thrown in my face by consumerism. I have wasted, not wanted... and been ungrateful for what life has given me...

When I think of myself throwing food away, leaving a tap dripping all night, spending ridiculous amounts of money on crap, I feel angry and determined to make up for all the mistakes I have made.

My journey is not one of self satisfaction... It is not a fashion statement... It is nothing to do with offsetting my footprint in this world. That to me would be like the first world countries 'buying' their freedom from third world countries, to pollute their skies for money. I don't want to work hard, play hard and pay for my 'carbon footprint' later with cash, when by doing that somebody else in the world has to work hard, never play and never get to drink a glass of fresh water.

It causes me great anguish to see adverts for 'the lowest omission 4x4 on the road'... WHY oh WHY do you NEED a Range Rover Sport in the hills of London, to get to Waitrose and back? (I just found this website, of the 'Alliance Against Urban 4x4s'... thank God I'm not alone!)

Has anyone ever worked hard enough to deserve this? (Yes it's solid silver)

I don't deserve to have more than everybody else, do I? Should I think that God has put me here in 'Material Heaven' I should not be accountable for the other 2/3rds of the worlds population.

Since I have travelled and seen the world, met the 'real' people out there, the people with passion for life, the people who smile when they see you... I have realised what 'poor' really means. These so called poor people are richer than me in every way. They have the support from their extended families, they are happy with what they have, they have pride in their jobs, they have faith in their God.

A lot better than working in Tesco's?

I feel it is my duty as a mother to bring my daughter into a world of pride and respect. Human life is so precious, whether it belongs to a king or a beggar. Who can decide which life is worth more?

This lady may not have much to sell but she has her pride.

I have some poor friends. In fact I have met so many people over the years who have touched my heart. More than that they have shown me what life is really about, the beauty in a sunset, a shell or even a leftover meal. 

One beggar I passed everyday on the streets of Calcutta, smiled at me and never asked me for money, she had pride. One day I took her the leftovers of our lunch and a small muffin. Many beggars just grab what you give and run away. She looked into my eyes and said to me "Thank you Sister"...

Some of the most beautiful people I have met have been poor. They have invited me into their homes, their families and their lives and prepared food for me with no thought to how much my meal cost. Many of the mothers have gone without to feed their guest. One saying in India is, Atithi devo bhavah, or "our guests are our gods" (Taken from Hindu scripture) There is no Indian home where you will not be treated to food and a drink, however poor the family is. They will go without themselves to feed a visitor.

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This is one day that I will never forget... 

A mother of four, younger than me, a husband who drinks, sleeps and rarely goes to work. Four beautiful children, they don't go to school, they have learnt English from foreigners, they spend their days looking for tourists to sell their goods to... invited me to lunch at their house.

Real happiness comes from other people...

From living close to nature...

Still want that Ikea kitchen?

True pride comes from being humble...

Sincere hospitality is giving more than you've got...

I have been friends with them ever since...

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So my plan to live a self sufficient life has a little bit to do with wanting to save our planet for our future children, but it is mostly about living my life in a simpler way to make room for everyone to enjoy our world. For my conscience to blossom and grow into compassion for others who are less fortunate than me. For me to teach peace and humility to my beautiful daughter, who deserves more than I ever had... not possessions, but experiences...

I want to feel like I am only taking my fair share of this life...

and giving back more than I have.